now that the whole "island" world is up again, i've been thinking about mo. he had lots of names, but i remember when he was "mo" the most... they were the last years of his life, in the late 80's...it was when our friendship peaked... mo, like all of us, was full of shadow and light...just more vibrant and more intense than most...very scorpionic, he might say... and he was brilliant...a master at many things, and he wasn't shy about saying so. he spoke many languages, traveled the world (i have his fuller than full passport), knew and practiced every kind of cosmic "ology" you could ask for...and with each aspect of his being, came incredible confidence...
we would walk up and down the san francisco hills, while he pointed out the name of each flower and tree...we'd be singing broadway showtunes while we walked...and we loved the al jolson ones "rockabye your baby" and "mammy". mo got the biggest kick out of the dramatic, and he'd make the sounds of a trombone really loudly...and we'd crack up every time...in those days he lived in sacramento with david, and he'd come down every other weekend to stay with me on 24th street.
we'd also did our share of arguing...kind of like the way lanie and i do...mo had no compunctions about telling me what i should be doing...he'd get annoyed at what an "uptight" virgo i was. i remember the time he was wearing a wacky outfit and pointy hat and i asked him to change before we went into my neighborhood restaurant...he yelled at me about my tired old straight attitudes... at the time, i was embarrassed and cared more about what people thought than what my friend felt...
mo was political and strongly opinionated, and this is what would happen. he'd start out very articulate- perhaps at a protest, or writing a letter to some senator. but as he got more revved up, and into the injustice, his anger would escalate. he'd end up on a rant, calling or writing all kinds of four letter words, and nearly get himself arrested...when his shadow would pop out, he'd scare the heck out of people...
the best thing about us together was the fun we had...that's what we did mostly...we invented "too cheatin scrabble" which is still one of my favorite games ever...kind of like scrabble, but on a whole other level. and we developed a great "psychic" trick, involving a very complex code that we studied and worked on for years...it blew people's minds.
before he died, i witnessed a couple of his very heavy end of life dramas...or perhaps i should say, end of this life - to be continued dramas...i felt honored to witness such a powerful person at such a profound time. once, after aids had ravished his body, mo looked at me deeply and asked, "wave, am i really dying", and i said "yes, mo, you really are"...he knew, but he wanted a reality check...i understand that even better now...what feels so unreal, is the most real of all...he trusted me with the question, and i was grateful for that. mo told me something that will always stay with me because it brought me great joy...he said i was the friend he had the most fun with in his life...i can't think of a better compliment...
the last day, after he had taken some pills to help him along, david dialed my number and mo mumbled that he was leaving...i drove up to sacramento with our friend jeffrey. we sat on his bed and held his hand while he was dying. when we left the bedroom for a bit, he took his last breath. david washed and draped his body like they do in india...and we sat together and waited for the people to come and pick up what once had held the amazing mo...
