i felt the earth move under my feet...

i decided to begin low dosing myself with morphine in hopes that i'd feel more up to spending time with my visitors. i didn't move from the bed the whole day, but i didn't feel quite as lousy. after the social worker showed up, the chaplain called.  at first i told him that i didn't have the energy to meet anyone new, but he sounded really nice so i asked if we could just chat on the phone for awhile.  we ended up speaking for about 45 minutes and he was a very good listener. he wasn't pushy in any way, and offered his ear anytime.  

martina was my "on call" friend and she rang mitchell's phone to see if i wanted a piece of pizza from the '"cheeseboard" (a place where people wait on line just to get the only option of pizza they offer each day)...at first mitchell said no, because i've been so nauseas and haven't been eating much. but ten minutes later it sounded good to me so he called her back to say yes.  she brought it with a bouquet of flowers. at first the slice looked so big i couldn't imagine eating it all, but it was so delicious i ate almost the whole thing. all three of us sat together talking and occasionally crying, but i felt much less uncomfortable and much more open.  

and just when i was feeling relaxed, the first of two earthquakes shook. i'm pretty used to earthquakes, but being sort of confined to my bed had me feeling pretty vulnerable. i jumped up both times, and both times mitchell came running into the room to get me...most people, including me, run away from danger to safety...not mitchell, he ran to me.  he's always had the nature of a fireman and my safety was his first impulse.

there have been many times when i've told him to "stay out of it", when something is happening...or not to get involved, but mitchell's nature is to help in a crisis.  he's not anything of a trouble seeker or maker, but he's the guy good to have around when things get scary...it brings tears to my eyes to know that he really is my hero.

one time we were at a karaoke bar, just him and i.  i wanted to see if i had the courage to sing in front of a lot of people i didn't know.  i ended up with the song "desperado". after i finished, on the other side of this big hall, a fight started. one guy accidentally hit another guy's wife with his coat. the guy with the coat was drunk and the fight began.  my first impulse was to get out of there and never go back.  the man who wasn't drunk picked up a chair to hit the other man with, and mitchell ran across the room to stop him.  the guy was twice the size of mitchell, but mitchell put his arms around him from the back so that he couldn't throw the chair.  

later, when i was yelling at michell, he said that he knew the guy didn't want to really hit the other guy with the chair, but his manhood was at stake because everyone was watching. he also told me that the guy sort of relaxed when mitchell stopped him... we left the bar in an argument...but later i thought about it differently...mitchell intervened and stopped something horrible from happening...

that's my mitchell...and one of the reasons why i felt the earth move under my feet for so many years...

 

Comments

[deb yee]

love....love this. all of your writings.

[Jada]

I second that!

[lynnie]

Yes.