there's a song, "hands" that was popular and everytime i heard the words above i'd get all teary eyed...i find this to be especially true now, in the end...with less and less to worry about, less things to have, to eat, to do... only kindness matters...okay, admittedly, in the middle, beginning and all other time periods of life, everything else seems to matter an awful lot...but not in the end - and i'm happy to say that i've been receiving as much as what really matters as i could have ever hoped for...
dying is a bit like giving birth (or so i hear). you don't know exactly when it's gonna happen but you know it's coming soon. you don't know how difficult or relatively easy it might be. i've heard things like "get this baby out of me" when women get close to the due date and they're so uncomfortable...i can also relate completely to the whole morning sickness thing...and when lanie told me she was pacing the floor trying to figure out when to visit...i thought of the pacing people do in the waiting room...there's something very full circle about it all.
victoria just left. her boss gave her fridays to work here at my house while she watches over me. she was a hospice volunteer for years and she sure knows how to make a girl feel taken care of. when i got out of my bath, the bed was all made and cozy again. we had some amma blessed tea that anjuli brought this morning. she came by to rub my feet and we hugged and thanked each other for such a beautiful connection through the years.
last night i was with lynnie, my friend from portland. there's nothing like old friends who know you in every way...and in just a little while, mitchell's oldest friend is flying in from new york for the weekend. their mothers were in a mother group 56 years ago, so they were sort of friends before they were born...he'll bring his guitar and i hope to sing one song with him, "song for the asking"...
as far as my body goes, it becomes more uncomfortable every day. i've lost 24 pounds without trying - its as if i had a lap band surgery because i can only eat tablespoons of things...one hell of a diet, with the emphasis on die...
but my heart, mind, and spirit, are getting more and more comfortable at the thought of being released...
I feel privileged to get to know you in such a straight up homie
with a New Jersey accent
kind of way.
The Sabina and Wave soothers have me blending
with your frequency
which is so good
maybe us weeds and wildfloweres didn't always
have a toothbrush or lunch
but we sure learned how to
did from a deeper well
to find love.
The love you give
is tremendous
your soothers are my soothers
your love is my love
it's undying.
Posted by: Kathleen Bannon | October 29, 2011 at 02:26 PM