i gotta get me some new blood because i'm waking up as tired as when i go to sleep. being on the cusp of severe anemia sucks. i see my oncologist next week and hopefully she'll set me up with a transfusion. i never thought i'd be looking forward to one, but i am. it's pretty vampire(ish), needing someone else's blood, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. i'm trying to think of it differently so it doesn't freak me out...remembering that we're all part of the same human story...one blood...one heart, and that sorta thing.
just the thought of having energy again, being able to walk around without being short of breath sounds very good right now...my poor bone marrow can't make any happy red blood cells anymore, because the cancer has completely replaced it. damn that cancer...
it is weird knowing that my body is running down and there's no turning it around...it hits me out of the blue sometimes, making me sad... and then i remember, i've been given so much time, more than many...so be grateful, enjoy what is left...i still have no idea how soon before i'll be leaving but it ain't getting better. the pain is gone for now, but i have an appointment with a pain management specialist next month. i'm trying to get as organized as i can before the coming storm(s).
on a brighter note, the little boy called yesterday. he's home (hooray) and was with grandma shopping for the things on his list for school. he told me that the plane had an engine problem while landing, and he was the only one who wasn't screaming. i asked him why he was so brave and he said that he's already used to traveling.
speaking of planes, mitchell took a leap and bought us tickets for thanksgiving in new york. he also bought traveler's insurance...first time he ever did that...i'd love to be able to go...i just need my very own life preserver...
"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stage-coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position and be bruised in a new place."
-Washington Irving, American writer
Posted by: Jada | August 21, 2011 at 10:30 AM
I love Jadas quote , as I too have found in myself and with caring for my aging parents ...New York for Thanksgiving will be Glorious! and new spirited blood sounds like spirited renewal for a very special warrior and writer indeed!
Posted by: debora | August 21, 2011 at 10:38 AM