i was sharing an insight with mitchell. i told him about spending the day with charlie and how he helped me realize some things about my life...how i don't want to continue having my whole identity associated with cancer... how it's become the first thing i say about myself, the thing that defines me, that excuses me...it has made my life too small...
i talked to a friend of mine, who, when he was faced with a life threatening illness, decided to start saying yes to life...yes to the opportunities and the offers...even though "no" was safer and easier, he stayed in the land of yes...
it may be sinking in. i'm saying yes again....darn right... as i'm telling this to mitchell, he's agreeing wholeheartedly...
then, this afternoon, he suggests we walk to a movie, and have lunch at a place i normally wouldn't choose. i say, "okay", and it turns out the lunch was good and i liked the movie (sourcecode). later he says, "you should try this vanilla ice cream bar" and i do, because there's no chocolate and i want something sweet...and then he said something else (which i don't remember right now), and i said "no" and he said, "you have to say yes to everything"...and i said, "are you kidding, it's yes to life, not yes to you"...and he said, "yes to life, is yes to me"...geez...
on another note, i had a great time last night. frank and i went to see paul simon. frank had given me the new cd, "so beautiful or so what", and i got to know the songs, and was totally psyched to see him. before i left, mitchell warned me not to expect "sound of silence", and i didn't. i would have been happy with anything he sang...but as it turned out, he even sang that one... i took out what i now consider my very smart phone and emailed the song to mitchell right then and there.
throughout the show, i was aware of being in the presence of greatness. a true world treasure... it was an honor...
just the day before the show, phoebe snow died. i loved her music, although i hadn't heard anything from her in a long time. i was pretty sure paul would sing the song they did together "gone at last". when he did, it was like being in church, my arms and everyone elses were up in the air, hands in a hallelujah shake, feet stomping, and 1200 of us singing along "i've had a long streak of that bad luck, but i pray it's gone at last"...
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