home again

every morning i pick an angel card before i leave the house.  it doesn't really matter which i pick as they all have words on them like love, brotherhood, creativity, adventure...right before i left last week i picked "acceptance".  i knew that would be a good meditation for me...acceptance.  i could begin working on it right away with my travel anxieties and body sensitivities, and continue throughout the week with all the family stuff.  i made a conscious effort and it worked.  a successful trip all around.   today i find myself all grouchy and resistant again...post vacation blues?  i went to the courthouse this morning to argue my 400 dollar ticket (can you believe it)... 400 dollars for rolling very slowly while making a right at a stop sign. my first moving violation in 12 years.  i was caught by a video camera.  it was kind of funny watching myself on the video. i kept replaying it...i was driving with a smile on my face.  it was barely a broken law...certainly not worthy of such punishment.  i got up from my jet lag, and went to the courthouse to plead my case...i was totally ready to play my cancer card, or the christmas coming card, and whatever else i could think of to get out of paying full penalty. i waited on line to get through security, then i stood on the "pay and fight" line for awhile...then i got it -  life is just too short for this.  i came home and paid it online. enough is enough... 

so, back to the trip.  thanksgiving was pretty special.  mitchell's sister betsy and brother-in-law pete are great hosts, generous, fun, and easy to be with.  their movie star-like kitchen held all 16 of us - no problem.  their house is really something - we could fit 5 of ours into theirs...at the table each of us said what we were grateful for. it became a real tearjerker. pete's brother's wife is still in treatment for breast cancer.  there was a lot of thankful words from her and to her from her husband and kids...and mitchell's mom has been very ill so when her irv spoke, he got pretty choked up too, which started all of our watering eyes.  and these were beautiful tears...tears for our precious and fragile lives.  after dinner we were treated to a concert from pete's niece... only 14 years old, she blew us away - an amazing singer-songwriter.  i'm telling you her name...ellen kempner...cause one day you'll hear of her from somewhere else...we stayed over and took a crisp east coast hike through the woods of connecticut... on saturday they treated us to see the musical "spring awakening"...then mitchell and i left that portion of our journey and walked down fifth avenue past the macy's holiday windows to meet our favorite new york friends for dinner.  i chose "craft" restaurant because we're into "top chef" and the owner is one of the judges on the show. my very best friend lanie joined us along with mitchell's peeps, who i love too... mr.dave (friend since birth), his wife, the brilliant eric, and donna, frank's best friend, who we've known forever.  i smoked a little pot (just a little) and had a martini and it all felt perfect.  when i went to the bathroom, being starstruck as i am, i asked a host if tom (the top chef judge) was around...he said no, but since i was so interested in top chef, he'd tell me a little secret...the man sitting at the table right in back of me was thomas keller-owner of the french laundry in napa...(one of the greatest restaurants ever)...this blew my mind (and added to the magical effect of the marijuana)... as you know, i am quite the foodie these days...one of the things on my "bucket list" is the french laundry.  it is crazy expensive and even more than that, nearly impossible to get reservations.  in fact, my friend marigrace has been working at this for awhile, as i'd given up trying. i took it as a sign that the owner of my bucket list restaurant was eating just a few tables away... i asked my waiter what he thought of me approaching the man.  he said if he were me he'd probably go for it...but after a few minutes i knew it would be too awkward...perhaps i got enough juice out of the coincidence itself. later in the evening the waiter called me to the side and asked if i'd approached chef keller, and i told him that i decided not to.  then he said he was friends with tom (top chef guy) and took my name, phone number and asked how many people i want the reservation for...isn't that great?  i still haven't heard anything from them, but it added even more magic to the remarkable night.

after dinner we were off to new joisy...the highlight of which were the many geber children.  ten of them.  i loved each one immediately. it was easy.  we went from one house to the other.  in between visits, mitchell and i would get our energy together (in this case energy meant stopping at the drive thru dunkin donuts for latte's) ...my four brothers are proud of their kids and really wanted me to meet them. i tried to get to know something of each one.  george's 2 1/2 year old twin boys blew me away. just the sound of them talking was like sweet music...then we headed to my mom's place where 5 of them were waiting.  david's littlest one (19 months old) came running toward us laughing.  i've posted her picture as she is too cute for words.  larry's 8 year old somehow remembered that i taught him yoga when he was 3. (how can that be)... that led to an impromptu yoga class with all of them - quite a feat in my tight jeans (oy)...but seeing them do the tree pose together - priceless.  we stayed a few hours and then headed to alan's house, where mitchell promptly fell asleep...alan's 12 and 9 year old sons showed me around their menagerie. two talking birds, 17 lizards, giant tanks of sea horses and exotic fish, speedy the tortoise, leppy the very big lizard, 2 chamelians, and coco puff geber, the dog...(what, no partridge in a pear tree)...oh, and the new one month old brother, aidan, who i held.   we did the wii band...i sang "roxanne" with the younger one playing drums and the older one on guitar...according to the wii screen, i failed miserably...but i know i'd get the hang of it if i had more time.

later that night we met all of the brothers, three of their wives and my mother for dinner.  it was good. i sat surrounded by "the boys" -  the first time in many years.  i felt the love, and i felt their care. nothing openly sentimental, nothing about the cancer, just kindness and laughter... my third brother, the one i haven't spoken to all this time was funny and relatively at ease, and we never said a word about the past problems. later it was upstairs to the daze inn...it was a good idea to have a place of our own for down time...to hell with allergens. 

the day before we left new york we got to be with our friends again.  i went to lanie's, and mitchell met dave and eric.  lanie is my go to friend for clarity and insight.  i've been seeing a trend in my issues with a few people in my life, and when that happens, i know its time to look more deeply at it... lanie is the one i can do that with.  she will confront me, help me focus, and ultimately guide me to find my way with it.  never was there a better therapist...and never a better friend.  more about lanie someday....but i will say this -  my life would be infinitely less in every way and far more lonely without her. 

we walked around the west village and i was without a winter coat, so  i wore a fur one her mother gave her many years ago.  i was so nervous that i'd run into a peta person... so wrong yet sooo warm...

that night we drove back to white plains... whew...i was zonked out.  the next day we had breakfast with his family, and betsy sent a car to bring us to the airport. smooth as silk...the flight was long but made much easier with the tv on jetblue...we caught up on 2 hours of top chef. not too bad at all.

and now i'm here, with my little kitties, and my quiet home...good to be back...